NAMI Oklahoma – Jim Stafford's BlogOKC

Shining a light on mental illness

NAMI Tulsa — NAMI-Tulsa’s clever ‘psychiatric help’ display caught a lot of attention and photographers at the NAMI Oklahoma conference.

This past weekend, I heard stories about the heartache, disruption and pain caused by the impacts of mental illness on families and their loved ones.

I also heard that there is hope for those suffering.

NAMI Oklahoma held its 2024 Annual Conference in Tulsa on Saturday, and because my wife works for the organization, I tagged along. NAMI is the National Alliance on Mental Illness, an organization that works to end the stigma of mental illness.

NAMI doesn’t provide therapy, but helps connect those in need with critical services, as well as with support from their peers in similar situations.

Our family is among those that have been impacted by mental illness, so I found the conference and its many speakers and topics relevant to our situation.

There were roughly 150 folks in attendance, plus about two dozen vendors who showcased their support at tables outside the meeting rooms.

My intentions were to hear presentations by a couple of folks I know, then take care of our 5 year-old grandson, Solomon, who came with us.

The first presentation I heard was that of Neal Nordlinger in the day’s first breakout session. I’ve had a lot of connections with Neal through the years, first when I worked at i2E, the OKC-based not-for-profit that mentors entrepreneurs and startups. And now I know him as the husband of my friend and former co-worker, Clytie Bunyan.

Neal speaks — Neal Nordlinger leads session at NAMI Oklahoma conference on finding the right rehab.

Anyway, Neal told his audience about how he was confronted with consequences of addiction at 3 a.m. one morning when he received a call that his son was in crisis. He needed to find a treatment center for his son, but didn’t know where to start.

That call started Neal down a path of discovery, where he learned about recovery and rehab centers that treat not only for drug and alcohol addiction, but also provide treatment for mental health conditions.

In his quest, Neal gained so much knowledge about the nation’s rehab industry that he wrote a book called “The Right Rehab,” and founded a business called InCrisis Consultants to help others. He shared with us insight into finding a rehab center that has a good reputation, the required certifications and fits our insurance and financial situation.

It’s quite a maze, which I know from past experience of our family.

As an aside, my daughter, Sarah, has worked for rehab centers in Florida for the past couple of years. I’m proud that she’s discovered her mission in life from her own challenges.

After his presentation, I told Neal that everyone at the conference should have heard him speak, and for good reason. Everyone was there because they have a loved one with addiction, mental health challenges or have gone through them personally.

There is a big rehab knowledge gap for most of us that Neal addressed.

Later in the day, I heard my friend Preston Northcraft deliver an impassioned presentation on turning the pain associated with a mental health condition into something positive.

That’s exactly what Preston, who suffers from a bipolar condition and gambling addiction, has done. He delivered a message of hope for other young people by assuring them they are not alone in their condition, and offered steps to overcome mental health challenges and live a successful life.

Preston has also written a couple of books about mental illness. HIs presentation showed that he has emerged as an engaging speaker. He turned his pain into a positive.

Finally, for me, the most impactful story I heard at the conference was that of keynote speaker, Dr. Christine Kunzweiler, a veterinarian and wife of Tulsa District Attorney Steve Kunzweiler.

Dr. Kunzweiler shared the story of the journey her family has been on after her daughter, while in the midst of mental health crisis in 2022, stabbed her father, Steve Kunzweiler. The incident resulted in the Kunzweiler’s daughter serving a long period in jail before eventually being found not guilty by reasons of mental impairment.

The mental illness her daughter suffered from and the family crisis it created inspired both Dr. Kunzweiler and her husband to become advocates for mental health reforms and services.

While Steve Kunzweiler survived the incident with minor wounds, it is a similar story — but less tragic — to that of Oklahoma Labor Commissioner Mark Costello. Many Oklahomans are familiar with the story of how Costello lost his life when he was stabbed to death by his son, who suffered from a severe mental illness.

Today, Mark Costello’s wife, Cathy Costello, has become a fierce advocate for crisis intervention and speaks frequently on the subject.

I came away from Dr. Kunzweiler’s speech grateful that she’s willing to share her family’s story in a public way when there is still such a stigma surrounding mental illness.

Her experience and story provided something her audience needed to hear — that we are not alone in our challenging situations. Many others face the same challenges.

She gave us hope that we can emerge from dark days with a new purpose and shine a light to help end the stigma of mental illness.

The ‘Inspiration Board’ at the NAMI Oklahoma conference was filled with notes of encouragement

Bright blue skies — until next storm hits

The annual NAMI Walks Oklahoma event went off under a bright blue sky at Lower Scissortail Park

Living with a family member who suffers from mental illness reminds me of the weather. There are sunny, cloudless days when blue skies make you optimistic about a bright future. Then the clouds gather and an unexpected rain washes away your unrealistic hopes.

I had one of those blue-sky days on Saturday, literally.

I participated in the annual NAMI Walks Oklahoma event at Lower Scissortail Park on a beautiful, sunny and cloudless day.

Sponsored by NAMI Oklahoma, hundreds of people gathered to walk in support of NAMI’s mission to end the stigma of mental health. It was a great morning.

Although I’m a huge fan of OKC’s Scissortail Park, I had my doubts about how well the newly opened Lower Park would serve the NAMI Walks event.

Too isolated. Not enough parking. An unfamiliar venue south of I-40.

Not to worry. Folks found their way to the park with no problems. And while parking was at a premium, NAMI Oklahoma arranged for a shuttle bus that would take people from free parking areas across from the Paycom Center down to the lower park.

Better yet, the weather matched the festive mood. Bright blue skies and warming temperatures.

So, we had a great time as we listened to the beat of the music selected by the DJ, connected with old acquaintances and heard stories of overcoming anxiety and depression from speakers like Ashley Ehrhart. A former Miss Oklahoma USA and a member of the OKC Thunder Girl dance team, Ehrhart advocates for mental health from her own experience.

There was a Zumba exercise class that broke out, games for kids and ‘Mabel,’ the double-decker English bus from Junction Coffee that had a line of customers all morning.

Then at 10 am, the emcee counted it down and the actual Walk began on a 2 kilometer course over the Lower Scissortail walking trails. The sight of watching hundreds of people marching north toward the upper park and eventually back south on the west side was awesome. There were dogs, strollers, children and large groups wearing matching T-shirts.

I took scores of bad photos as I walked along the course on both the east and west sides.

Anyway, my reservations about the venue were totally unfounded. It teemed with life and enthusiasm. And the bright blue sky fueled my optimism that folks living with mental illness and their families can find that better place.

At least until the next storm hits.

The Thunder Way sets the NBA gold standard

Thunder presser — Thunder GM Sam Presti introduces the team’s 2022 draft class to the OKC community as the players listen.

I‘m not sure how other NBA teams welcome new talent to their community, but the OKC Thunder way may be the gold standard.

On Saturday, the Thunder welcomed their four 2022 draftees to Oklahoma City with a special press conference at the Clara Luper Center just west of downtown.

The event was streamed on the Thunder app, so we all had a chance to watch it. And it was an intriguing hour that provided some insight into the team’s new players — Chet Holmgren, Ousmane Dieng, Jalen Williams and Jaylin Williams.

Paula Daigneault — Thunder coach Mark Daigneault and Paula Stafford at introductory press conference

But for me, it afforded an opportunity to see and hear Sam Presti describe what he saw in each player well before the draft that ultimately brought them to the team.

It’s obvious that Presti pours a huge amount energy in learning all he can about the players, their personalities and their families, in addition to assessing their level of talent.

I loved the way he described watching the players in various settings months or years before the moment their names were announced.

And how he uses locations of historical significance to introduce new players to the community.

All of that’s probably the reason broadcaster Dan Patrick described Presti last year as “the best GM the NBA has seen in a long, long time.”

I agree with that assessment, even if I’ve complained about every inch of the Thunder’s tanking strategy over the past couple of years. I don’t think that playing to lose is fair to their fans, players or corporate sponsors.

But that’s just me.

Thunder cap Folks like my friend Steve Buck are all in on losing on purpose because they say the end justifies the means. I’m just hoping the NBA will come up with a way to nullify tanking as a strategy.

Anyway, I thought the press conference was a huge success, and the players said all the right things, as did Presti.

I also had a secondary reason for watching the Thunder introductory press conference. My wife, Paula, was invited to attend as a “community draftee” by the Thunder through her role as an employee of NAMI Oklahoma.

She sat on the front row during the press conference, and had the opportunity to meet Thunder coach Mark Daigneault and the new players. And Steve Buck’s middle school-age boys went with her, so it was a win-win-win for everybody.

“It was an awesome experience,” she said. “I gained a whole new respect for Coach Daigneault and for the way the Thunder introduce their players to the community. It was a great event.”

Paula group — The NAMI Oklahoma “community draft picks” that attended the Thunder news conference on Saturday.

It’s NOT your 19th nervous breakdown

NAMI Walk1 — Walkers begin their trek around the Myriad Gardens this morning in the annual NAMI Walks event

‘You better stop, look around
Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
Here comes your nineteenth nervous breakdown…’

— 19th Nervous Breakdown, the Rolling Stones

When I was a kid, I don’t recall anyone around me described as suffering from a mental illness. But I do recall plenty of discussion about little old ladies at my Grandmother’s church or my aunt having a “nervous breakdown.”

I didn’t know what it was, but I assumed it was awful.

Fast forward 60 years or so. Now I realize that my aunt or those little old ladies from the church actually suffered from some form of mental illness.

It’s just that back in those days there was such a stigma about mental illness that no one would ever admit it. Depression, anxiety, bipolar disease or even Schizophrenia were topics that were never discussed in polite company.

Here’s how the Mayo Clinic describes a ‘nervous breakdown:’

‘The term “nervous breakdown” is sometimes used by people to describe a stressful situation in which they’re temporarily unable to function normally in day-to-day life. It’s commonly understood to occur when life’s demands become physically and emotionally overwhelming. The term was frequently used in the past to cover a variety of mental disorders, but it’s no longer used by mental health professionals today.’

Today, my eyes are open.

Every family — mine included — likely has first hand experience with some form of mental illness. I long ago decided that it’s my job to support my loved ones who suffer from mental illness, try to get them professional help and not make rash judgments or punish them for what’s out of their control.

I say all of that because today was the annual NAMI Walks Your Way event down at the Myriad Gardens. It went off without a hitch amid unseasonably cool weather but with no rain to hamper the program or the walkers.

NAMI Walk 3

The important thing about the NAMI Walks event is that it is designed not only to raise money to support the efforts of NAMI Oklahoma — the National Alliance on Mental Illness — but to help end the stigma of mental illness.

When one out of every five people in our society endures their own personal battle with mental illness, It’s important that we be upfront about the illness and support those afflicted in tangible ways.

It’s more than a nervous breakdown, even if we didn’t know what to call it back in 1962.

Thank you, NAMI, for shining a light.

(Full disclosure: my wife, Paula, is employed by NAMI Oklahoma, which introduced me to the NAMI Walks Your Way event and its purpose)

NAMI Walk2