I realize that I’m putting my Man Card at risk for this, but I’m coming out of the closet on a lifestyle choice. I, ahem, watch Hallmark Channel movies. A lot.
I’m not sure when this all started, but I’m thinking sometime last year. My wife had it on a lot, so I would just sit down and watch with her.
Then I began tuning in for myself even when she wasn’t around. Now, it’s a daily habit.
I know there’s a lot of Hallmark Channel hate out there, and for good reason. Most of stories are predictable, full of cliches like that of the up-and-coming big city girl who goes back to her quaint Vermont hometown for Christmas and meets up with her long-ago high school crush. He’s wearing flannel and is an incredible boy scout, helping old ladies cross the street and doing repairs free of charge for anyone and everyone.
And there’s more, like no sex. Ever! And Christmas seems to last year-round in Hallmark land. New England has a lock on locations. We see the same leading actors over and over.
Then why am I watching? Here’s what keeps me there:
First, we have a 6-year old in the house who watches with us a lot. He gets wrapped up in the Hallmark stories, and it seems pretty age-appropriate to me. He loves the weekly Hallmark mystery episode.
But the big draw for me is the sense that, ultimately, each Hallmark Channel movie is positive and upbeat. I’m looking to escape the violence and horror that the daily news routinely brings. That’s why I can’t bring myself to follow true-crime podcasts or shows with antiheroes like Breaking Bad.
It all wears me out.
Now, over the past couple of years, I have escaped the Hallmark Channel enough to watch each season of Ted Lasso all the way through — twice. But, Ted Lasso may be the most positive and upbeat show I’ve ever seen, although not nearly as predictable — or innocent — as Hallmark movies.
I know I’m not alone. I have a friend I’ll call “Ed” who also watches a lot of Hallmark Channel, although he recently told me that he can’t get into this year’s crop of movies.
Your loss, Ed.
Christmas season launched on the Hallmark Channel the first of October, and we’ve still got dozens of new movies to watch. What’s not to like? It’s New England at Christmas. Snowfall. Town Square. Christmas tree lighting. Pushy, micro-managing boss back in NYC. Bed and breakfast. Beautiful girl. Plenty of flannel.
I’m always there, ready to hope against hope that the lovely young starlet and her handsome would-be beau can finally admit they have a thing for each other and share a Hallmark kiss in the final minute of each episode.
OK, there, I admitted it. I’m hooked on Hallmark. Whew, the weight is off my shoulders.
Wait, where is my Man Card?
BONUS CONTENT:
Favorite female Hallmark actor: Lacy Chabert
Favorite male Hallmark actor: Paul Campbell
Favorite episode: Three Wise Men and a Baby is a favorite. Plus an episode I can’t recall the title for, but revolves around a young woman/attorney who sets out to save her parents’ mom-and-pop restaurant against destruction by big city developers.
Jim Stafford's BlogOKC 